Exception
by Cautious Chaos
Summary: A Sizzy One-shot, Post CoHF. After Amodeus, Izzy puts her armor back onto her heart, but Simon might have just the weapon that has her with an exception to her rules.


**Story Summary: **Post CoHF, Izzy puts her armor back on her heart. But Simon might deal another blow that could have her with a possible exception to her rules.

_"I made a promise_

_I'd never sing of love, if it does not exist,_

_But Darling, You are the_

_only exception"_

_-The only exception, Paramor_e

If Izzy hadn't known any better, she would have said that she loved Simon.

She already _had _told Simon she loved him, that night in the cave. But that was before everything went wrong, before Simon decided to be a self sacrificing stupid idiot, before he became who he was before, _notSimon, _and forgot about her. About Izzy and all the things she told him that she actually meant, about all the things they went through together, about the way that they both needed each other but never really wanted to say it. He forgot about the moon eyes he used to make at her and the little girl grins she made into her hands when he did and she thought no one could see. He forgot about the way Alec had hounded him with glares and narrowed eyes and choked exasperation whenever Simon and Izzy went off alone. He even forgot about the way she whispered the words to him in the night and caressed that stupid face of his and told him that she _loved him _and hadn't and wouldn't ever say it to anyone else, not in that way.

And sometimes, after everything as she lies sprawled on her bed, she wonders if she can bring her self to say those words to anyone again. To Simon who was not Simon, not _her _Simon, who was only beginning to remember small moments. And they weren't _their _moments, stolen and whispered and beautiful and so real Izzy could touch his hair in her mind, or hear his soft laugh. No, they were only the little things like how they met, Clary's middle name, becoming a vampire and the name of Magnus's cat. And now Izzy didn't know what to do.

She should have never opened up to _this, _this stupid love story that would never have a happy ending. _This, _this was what she was afraid of, had always been afraid of. It was the one thing that a blade or knife or her golden whip couldn't destroy, and she didn't have a shield to soften the blows.

Her phone buzzed.

Isabelle groaned, wondering if it was her brother to let her know that he was going "home" to Magnus's apartment, or Jace saying _Hey Iz I'm off for something sweet and delicious with Clary-iykwim! _Angel, she hoped not. She didn't move, shutting her eyes and sincerely hoped Jace would not give her the details of his scrumptious affair. The bright colors of her walls were stark and bold, glaring at her. _When did I start caring about these things? _She wished her mother never told her about her father's affair. She wished she had never learned how to be distrustful. She wished Clary's stupid brother had stayed dead, so that she wouldn't have lost stupid Simon to some stupid demon-

It rang this time.

Throwing her hands in the air with a word that would have made said ginger squeak, Iz rolled over rather gracelessly and thrust her slender hand to the bedside table to snatch her phone. She didn't bother to look down at the screen and just answered, fuming.

"Jace Herondale, I do _not _want a _single _detail about your events with Clary tonight or I will kick y-"

"Actually," said a voice on the other end that did not sound like Jace. "I'd hate to disappoint you, but the only details I have of _that _right now are in my fan fiction."

She nearly choked, phone slipping from her hands a bit . "Um, Simon?"

"No." The amused voice definitely sounded like Simon now. "This is God speaking."

Isabelle sighed, though her heart began to speed up a little. "Oh, please. I thought-"

"That I was Jace? But I assume from your words that he is, ah, quite... _busy_."

"Extremely."

"I take it you aren't?"

"No, Simon." She played mercilessly with a strand of black hair. "I'm not."

There was a pause, an endless pause in which Izzy didn't know whether to laugh or snap or just scream obscenities and hang up the phone before she said something awful- either _I hate you _or _I love you. _Maybe she should hang up. Or cry. She just held her breath, wishing things like this took the same kind of courage that fighting demons did. Then it would be _easier. _It would just be so much easier ...

"Look, I wanted to ask you something." Simons voice sounded a bit strained, the amusement vanishing. "About- about before."

Isabelle sighed again, but this time it was heartfelt, emotion flooding through her chest, filling her to the brim. Before. Before _what? _Before he became a self sacrificing idiot? Before they fell in love? _Did _they fall in love? Izzy ran a hand through silky hair. "Uh, sure. Shoot for it."

"Is that a reference I'm supposed to be getting? " Simon's voice tried at lightness, but there was some thing else in his tone. Isabelle's eyes found the floor, after she rolled them. "No. Its not."

"Good. Thats good. So, um, the question. That I have to ask you." There was something very Simon about the way he said it actually. So _Simon. _Her hand slipped a bit on the phone.

"The question that you have to ask me." Iz said teasingly. Her heart was speeding, Shadowhunter instinct perking her ears. "Are you asking me to the prom, mundie, because I've got a - "

"didyoumeanitwhenyousaidyoulovedme? " were Simon's words, rushed and jumbled and embarrassed as he blurted them through the speaker of her touch screen. He coughed at the end, and it was like they were back to square one again. Back to the murmured words that they didn't want the other to hear, back to the fear of saying them, back to being afraid they were _true. _She felt her breath catch. " Simon, I don't... I don't know what you said. " Because he didn't say what she thought he said. He couldn't have.

"Oh," was Simons infuriating response. "Oh, um. I, uh, I said..." He broke off, took a breath, and started again. "What I meant to ask is... Did you mean it when you said that you loved me? That night, in the cave. I was thinking about it." At her silence, his voice picked up speed. "I mean, at that time. You don't have to mean it now. Im not- that's not what I am asking. I just wanted to know if you loved me then. Or not then. I don't know, I- God, I've screwed everything over. Look, I'm sorry. I-"

"Simon," Isabelle said wretchedly, voice strained. "Shut up_." _Her voice cracked pathetically on the last syllable. She remembered her Simon couldnt say _God. _She scrubbed angrily at her eyes, which were glistening. "By the angel, just shut up, shut _up." _She couldn't stop the tears from falling. Iz felt the desperate need to claw at something, or to let an animal sound out of her throat. She almost did both, but instead gritted her teeth and let out a groaning sob as Simon made an embarrassed, questioning noise.

"Isabelle-" he started again but she didn't want to hear him say his name. She didn't ever want to hear him say her name, because it wasn't what it used to be and he could never say it again like he used to. And it wasn't his fault, but Izzy didn't want to hear it. "Izzy, I don't-"

"No! Shut up!" She shouted finally."You're so stupid, Simon. You're so goddamn stupid!" She choked, hands going to the pendant on her throat, as she let a few sobs out. She wiped at her face again with the back of her hand. Jesus, she was _crying. _Her. _Isabelle. _Stupid Simon, he was making the unbreakable girl cry. She never thought someone could do this to her, make her give her heart away to have it broken. She never thought there was something that could _make _you give your heart away.

"I'm sorry." Was what an embarrassed Simon said next, who was not shutting up like he was supposed to. "I shouldn't have assumed you did. What a stupid thing to ask. Of course you didn't. Right. Wow, I'm such a jackass. I'm so sorry Izzy, that was so-"

"Of course I meant it, you idiot!" Izzy screamed shamelessly into the phone, thankful the walls of the Institute were soundproof. "Of course I loved you! I still _do, _damnit! What is _wrong _with you, Simon? Why are you such a dumbass?!" Her tears were hot, burning drops that flew down her face furiously, her shoulders spasming with sobs. Her voice broke. "What a stupid freaking question. Damn you, Simon, damn you."

He didn't respond, and Izzy wondered if she was being unfair. Maybe. Probably. She never wanted to hurt Simon, but maybe she did because it was better than _this _feeling, whatever this was. Maybe it was the only way. Of course, Simon had to be himself and ruin that, too.

"You love me?" Were his words, and soft and guileless, so much that Isabelle thought she was falling into his trap all over again, her chest flooding at his voice. She wanted to laugh at him, but her voice was broken. "Yes, Simon. I love you. I _love _you. Sometimes I wish I didn't, but I do." She put her head in her free hand, biting her lips. "Its so unfair. I love you like I never loved anyone, and you don't even know enough about me to love me back. Its not your fault. It just is, and _its not fair. _" She felt like a whining girl of some tragedy play, but she let the words slip.

"I don't remember you." Admitted Simon, and Izzy felt crushed all over again. "God, I wish I did. Its not fair, Izzy. Its not fair to you or me or anyone." He took a breath, and continued. "You know what though? I never really _lost _you. You know why?"

Isabelle's eyes were big and dark, her words breathed through her teeth. "Why?"

"Because you were in my _heart, _Isabelle Lightwood. And some jerk-off demon daddy can't just make that go away. Maybe I'm not the guy you fell in love with, but the love is still there and I swear, I swear on my life, that although I may not know a lot I know that I love you, too. I love you too."

She laughed, a deep sound that was beautiful to Simon, and it was mingled with tears and relief and choked sobs that made it seem as if she hadn't laughed in a long time.

"I promised myself I would never do this." She whispered. "Fall in love with you. I didnt want to."

"No," said Simon, and his voice was kind. "But Im an exception to alot of things. Maybe I can be one more."

_Maybe. _Izzy's life story. Indecisiveness and mistakes. Secrets and regrets, nothing real or sturdy. Except Simon. Except Simon and her brother, who didn't quite count because of rather obvious reasons. God, Simon.

"Maybe," she said, feeling the dangerous flicker of hopefulness in her chest, but the words were'nt empty. She meant it. To Simon, the only person she could mean it to. "Maybe we can figure this out-"

"_I've _got it figured." Said Simon, and it didn't sound obnoxious or conceited because it was Simon and Simon couldn't _be _obnoxious or concieted. It sounded like Simon had always sounded- sweet, genuine, silk soft but with gentle folds of depth. Izzy willed herself to drown in the fabric of his lovely, lovely voice for a bit longer as he said, "For me, the answer will always be the same."

She came up for air only to drown in his words again.

"You mean it?" She asked even though she already knew.

"I mean it. I dont say things I don't mean."

"I know. " she whispered. "I just wanted to hear you say it again."

There was a breathless laughter in her ear. Her heart blossomed with joy as he laughed and laughed, that sound she had missed for so long in his...absence.

"Isabelle Lightwood, " Simon said. "If you want to have me tell you how much I love you, you need only ask."

She grinned into her hand and hung up.

Perhaps the no romance rule was a bit too much, and anyways, she might have just found an exception.

**_Fin._**


End file.
